The whole world in the boot of a car

Somewhere in the big, wide world (in fact, in a museum in Dresden) you can view the original picture, painted in the 15th century, in which he has a slightly more shapely nose and an equally dour expression. Both sides of the family have managed to establish that he is our ancestor, This boy on the board was waiting for me to buy it on the banks of the river Jeziorka, where on Sundays an almost circular economy takes over and the slow life in this corner of Poland eagerly embraces the zero-waste concept. Here, ESG reigns supreme – this retail emporium, which is in fact a car boot sale, operates without any heating or artificial lighting. If someone undertook a multicriteria analysis of it, they would find that the running costs and environmental impact were minimal, although they would have to admit that getting here by public transport is rather difficult. They might also note the access barriers for the disabled. But it is certainly a place where positive social interaction takes place. A lot of things get talked about here, and it’s easy to take down the phone number of one of the traders who will happily take a look around your cellar, attic or the apartment left to you by your late aunt to seek out sellable curios. The footfall can be high, although the turnover is probably not as much as the daily revenues of your average retail park. There are no solar panels to be seen, but educational and entertainment programmes are always being organised. And toilet facilities are non-existent. You’re not going to find a baby changing room and there’s nowhere to sit while your better (or maybe worse) half does the shopping. Instead, the wind is either gusting in from the river or the sun is beating down on you – and the nearest public amenity is the local cemetery.

The regulations are nailed to a post near the entrance. The stalls, which are basic and re-used many times, are laid out at six in the morning and everything is packed up again at around 12 pm. Between these hours, the traders stand around speaking in a variety of accents about goods both large and small, second-hand and sometimes even first-hand. These include Chinese underwear, handmade sweaters, antlers, plastic toys, cast-iron meat mincers, plates, glasses, chandeliers, both classic and pulp fiction novels, ornamental animals made from plaster, enamelled samovars, communist era hairdryers that still work, the odd Electrolux vacuum cleaner that doesn’t, brass in all shapes and forms, cheese from the Polish highlands, Ukrainian pickles, and fresh fish – some of which weigh up to 40 kg, but it’s not very clear what species they might be, since there’s never anyone standing next to the car where they are sold.

The opportunities for a bargain appear and vanish all the time and they are never for the same thing twice (or at least not very often). Five złoty represents a relatively big purchase, so it could be invested somewhere else. But there are some items that turn up that need a more substantial investment and then some negotiation is needed. Here you can find whatever you want to furnish your house, clothe your body and feed your family. Although the tenant mix is not very stable, it’s always complementary. The car boot sale is vulnerable not so much to global supply chain disruption as it is to the weather – the place empties when it’s too cold, it’s snowing too much or when the level of the Jeziorka becomes worryingly high.

If I ever get tired of the portrait of the ancestor I bought there – which is never going to happen – I could sell it or give it away for free, since there’s never been a useless object that couldn’t be put to use by someone else. The car boot sale on the Jeziorka, which sadly doesn’t feature anywhere on the official data of modern retail stock, would certainly take him back. But we don’t have any such plans to sell him. Having tea with guests as he looks down upon us is a special feeling, and I imagine that if he could speak it would definitely be on topic and carry some weight. This could just be my imagination going wild. He was, after all, only a teenager, and possibly 500 years ago all he was thinking about as he posed for that portrait was taking off that stupid hat and running outside somewhere to play.